My Journey with Burnout

Greetings earthlings. Long time no see. I mean, if anyone does see this.

I wouldn’t be the first person to write about burnout and I will not be the last. I am just here to share my personal experience with it. Part explanation, part apology, part self-sabotaging excuse to keep doing it? I hope that last part isn’t true but I digress. This will be as short as my whirling emotions and stream of consciousness can afford me.

I have been very lucky in the last year or so. Most wouldn’t think that, because I had to leave work to heal from an ankle injury that has been a long time coming. Many years of walking to work in the wrong shoes and being overweight will take its tole eventually. Everything will, I think is the point of this post. And while that situation was very upsetting for me, and my outlook was very bleak at first, I decided to use that time I had wisely and FINALLY go legit with my art business.

In those six months I was out of work I began doing a lot of research on business ownership, especially creative business ownership, buy listening to podcasts, taking online classes, and setting up infrastructure for my business. I grew my social media following by starting a TikTok, really engaging with my followers, and posting every day. I began to paint every day, really for the first time working on my technique, and in my opinion, I have made a lot of progress. I taught myself, a self-proclaimed luddite, how to use photoshop, and create digital drawings, as well as teaching myself how to digitize traditional artwork for prints. I also created a website from scratch, that is concise, easy to navigate and easy to maintain and opened my Etsy and Redbubble shop. Those are all things to be proud of, I think. But it is because I had the time to achieve them, that is the reason I was able to do everything I did.

I have mentioned in the past that I was always a bit of an underachiever, a nihilist, and honestly very easily overwhelmed. If things ever got the slightest bit difficult, even at the THOUGHT of difficulty, I would begin to spiral, fearing failure, and give up in the name of decompression. Sometimes that wouldn’t even be voluntary. Executive dysfunction is so natural to me that a lot of times I would feel the anxiety and give up and I wouldn’t even notice I did until later. If that makes sense. It’s the reason I still live at home, it is the reason I didn’t finish college, it is the reason I don’t have my driver’s License. That six-month period is the first time that hasn’t really happened to me (again because I was lucky enough to have time).

Now that I am back at work the anxiety of executive dysfunction is rearing its head. I like many artists has a customer service job that has lent me the time to work on my hobbies that I enjoy. But when it comes to running an art business on top of having a full-time job, I am really unsure how people do this. The exhaustion I have felt since going back to work has been unbelievable, those jobs can be much more taxing than we realize. Emotionally and physically. My ankle injury speaks to that.

So how am I (or anyone) to combat this? Besides making sure to keep myself healthy (sleep, vitamins, water, stretching) I have been focusing on scheduling myself out time to create. I am not sure if this is the right move or not, but I make sure that I am only making online content (posting videos, pictures of my work, and creating art) after I get home from my day job. Meaning, I want my days off to be real days off. And figured that would give me some time to really rest. I think it’s been working, but my consistency with it is starting to wane. To actually go through with content creation, as soon as I get in the door I have to immediately go into my studio and sit in my chair. If I sit anywhere else, I will not get up.

I am noticing, the tone of this post comes off as me being disappointed or frustrated with myself. Perhaps I am a bit, but one thing I do know is that burnout of one degree or another will happen to everyone no matter what. It is inevitable, it is natural, it is not something to beat yourself up over, and that is something I would like to keep in mind, it is something we should all keep in mind. But I would like to learn a more effective way to roll with the punches of it, make it easier to transition from inaction to action and vice versa.

Maybe this post is more of a way to hold myself accountable, and not to give in to old habits. I’d like to reach out to my audience to start a discussion about our experiences with burnout. How have you been able to fight burnout? Do you fight it? I’d love to hear from people who have two or more jobs. as well as other creative business owners. Please let me know in the comments below.